One of the methods of Psychotherapy and personal development is NLP – Neuro Linguistic Programming, that works on the neural pathway and the language the person uses and can be used to improve one’s communication tremendously.
Studying the models and maps of the successful communicators is the primary focus of NLP approach of psychotherapy.
These studies are done with the idea that, if one was successful using it the others might to be successful. Most of the NLP methods and models have been modeled after extremely successful salesmen and communicators.
When we communicate with people, we relate to them and they relate to you by the words you use and how you say them.
Taking responsibility of your own communication is the most important part of communication, according to NLP.
This means that what you mean is very much tied to how other people interpret your meaning. Double checking that the person you are communicating with is understanding you in the same way that you think they are understanding you is a large component of NLP.
NLP techniques to Improve Communication:
To have a successful communication rapport building with someone is most vital, it is important to build upon some common ground.
Researchers have seen in past that most of the deals or success that was not achieved was because of certain kinds of behaviors and questions broke rapport with their clients.
Improper rapport building led to diminished quality and depth of the results they were getting.
To build rapport you must find common ground with someone and build upon it. Common interests, likes, or dislikes are all possible ways to begin building rapport.
Once you have established rapport in communication, you will be able to see the other person’s standpoint much more clearly.
When you have rapport with somebody they will feel like you understand them and that you have a strong common bond.
The second NLP technique for building rapport is simply by developing a genuine interest in the other person and in their model of the world.
A step deeper to rapport building is the technique of mirroring. People in deep rapport mirror each other’s bodies, gestures, voice qualities, tempo, breathing, and more.
Most of the trainers, motivational speakers, successful businessmen, have used the mirroring technique of NLP in their communication and they have achieved a lot of success.
The popularity they have build up is through use of the NLP mirror technique.
Nowadays, direct mirroring and matching is known in most business and sales contexts. So often, when you directly mirror people today, they know you’re doing it, and while sometimes it helps — sometimes they’ll stop you cold.
UNDERSTANDING NON VERBAL COMMUNICATION:
Have you ever tried lying to your mom and she catches you immediately? Do you wonder if she has super human power or something?
The answer is ‘No’ – It is just that your mother has been very attentive to every little thing about you when you communicate and most of which is Non-Verbal Communication.
Our words can lie but the body communicates to us with everything we feel or do. For example, our shoulders drag down when we are less confident, or we look up when we are thinking, our breath increases when we are anxious.
The unconscious mind picks up every single feeling, emotions and then they are processed into a non-verbal communication.
Every shift in a person’s inner emotions is transmitted to the world through their non-verbals – their body and voice.
As a result of this, there will be visible or audible alterations in your eye, arm and leg movements, in the muscle tonus of your face and body, in your posture, your breathing patterns, the pulse in your neck, the color of your skin, the size of your lips, the contraction and dilation of your pupils, and in the sound and rate of your speech.
You may think you are doing a great job at hiding your feelings but you are only hiding the gross and obvious signals. There is still an unconscious ‘leakage’ and this is picked up “unconsciously” by the other person.
People who are successful, sports people, sales people, therapist and a parent have well developed intuitive antenna but rather they give careful, respectful attention to the non – verbal communication.
FINDING YOUR MAP YOUR TERRITORY:
The map is not the territory,” so the internal representations that we make about an outside event are not essentially the event itself. What happens is that there is an external event and we run that event through our internal processing. We make an Internal Representation (IR) of that event. The IR of the event then combines with a physiology to create a state. The word “State” refers to the internal emotional state of the individual — happy, sad, motivated etc.
Did you ever notice that people treat their perceptions differently? Some people have to “see” certain relationships between things, where others have to have it explained or so they can “hear it”. Still others have to “get a grasp or a feeling” for the relationships. This is the essence of the NLP Communication Model.
The map of your territory is commonly and, an important technique that is used in most of the NLP community to understand what is actually going on internally when we communicate with our self or with others.
Our life structure and models of our territory examine encoding and decoding messages and the interference, the noise which can intervene to distort those processes.
The information we receive from outside, we as each individual, filter this information and then we create our own internal map of territory.
Our communication with others is influenced by our internal noise that comes from what sense we make of this map.
These can either enhance or interfere with our communication. If we could learn to listen to and read these maps, we will be more effective while communicating with others.
In the main, we do it unconsciously. Bring a little more consciousness to that process now and you will find that you can significantly improve your communicating prowess and, in that state, return it to that area of your experience which we call ‘unconscious competence’ so that you can use it as elegantly and as appropriately as you will choose to do.
Deletion occurs when we selectively pay attention to certain aspects of our experience and not others. We overlook or omit others. Without deletion, we would be faced with too much information. Maybe you already are overloaded with information and you feel like you have too much.
To know what people experience during the NLP course, click here.
To know more about the course itself, click here.