We all are looking for a life which is more complete and happy, a life where we feel we are in charge and in control of. How do we get to the stage of complete happiness or rather 100% fulfilment? Most of the time I have clients who would tell me they don’t know if they are living their life to the fullest. One of the reason we feel these things is because we are looking for validation outside of ourselves. The other thing I notice is that there are people claiming “I have all that I have always wanted” .However the people who claim they always get what they want still don’t seem happy, seem tense, and more interested in portraying a life of perfection. Use of different NLP techniques can help achieve this change.
WHAT ARE THESE TECHNIQUES?
NLP techniques are designed to be supported by important subtle skills including rapport, calibration, language patterns, anchoring, and belief preparation.
The subtle skills make the techniques work consistently rather than being a hit or a miss.
This NLP technique is nothing but the art of taking mental snapshots of the person’s emotional state, so that we would access the same state again. Another word for calibration is “ Measurement”. Hence we are looking, listening and feeling the cues and marking those cues for particular emotions.
Working in the field of Sensory Acuity , this NLP technique is more about perceiving the sensory changes in one’s own body as well as when a person is communicating to someone what are the changes in the other person’s voice , tone or any bodily movement.
For example, while you are coaching someone or talking to your client and your client is describing a traumatic or painful experience, while the person describes this, we tend to observe the following changes:
- Is the tone of voice more deep , low or is it with a faster pace?
- Does it seem from the person’s expressions or eye contact that he is trying to hide sadness?
- Does he suddenly get more restless?
- Does he have heavy breathing or has to strain while breathing?
Calibration –An Important NLP Technique for NLP Therapists & Coaches:
The knowledge that we calibrate our experiences through our sensory system helps us identify when the client/patient is going into a different state. Like while the patient / client walks in , he talks with a certain pace, mannerism and style. But no sooner is he talking about something that made him angry or hurt .He might make gesture of firm fist or suddenly have a rough tone of voice with flushing of face, where we would immediately identify that this is a different state.
When a client knows that we are paying total attention to the slightest changes in the patient’s body, he knows we are not hearing but listening with complete attention. This makes him feel more important and hence it helps in building rapport, hence they can trust you better.
We can identify when their body doesn’t match the state. We can see that they are trying to conceal something or trying to avoid some conversation. We can also see their level of comfort or discomfort.
Without this knowledge, you rely on conscious information and ignore the unconscious information. People who seek us may not be liars all the times , it’s just the conscious mind information that is often filtered due to logic, past experiences and conflict about something and unconscious is mostly spontaneous.
Calibration – NLP technique in our Day to Day life
- It’s useful to know when a person has changed their emotional response to a situation. It’s a channel of communication other than verbal content (and usually much more accurate).
- It helps to know when you are moving toward a particular goal with a person (whether professional or personal).
- It helps to know if your NLP and hypnotic techniques (such as anchoring) have “taken.”
Anchoring is a useful NLP technique for inducing a certain frame of mind or emotion, such as happiness or relaxation. It usually involves a touch, gesture or word as an “anchor”, like a bookmark for a desired emotion, and recall it again later using that same anchor.
For example a person has lost someone in the family and every time the relatives or friend would come and pat the back in a pitiful sympathetic way, it would remind him/her of the same past incident.
For the people being sexually abused in the past, the touch of the aggressor stays as an unpleasant feeling and the next time the person is touched in the similar way, it takes him/her back to that incident. When we see our national flag or hear our national anthem, it automatically makes us feel patriotic and passionate for our country.
The famous experiment by Russian scientist Ivan Pavlov describes him ringing a bell every time his dogs were fed. The dogs psychologically associated the experience of eating with the sound of the bell. Later on, the dogs would start salivating at the mere ringing of the bell. This is similar to what we are doing when we are using the NLP technique of anchoring.
Anchoring NLP techniques – Benefits or it’s Applications for Coaches and Therapists:
So this technique comes in use when we want to anchor a particular feeling in the person’s state. For instance a client freezes on the stage when he is facing the crowd. While coaching the client if we gently hold him or use a touch or make a sound, it would put him in a happy or comfortable place. This needs to done so that the next time the person sees the crowd, he will be taken back to his happy place. He is crafted so well that he now anchors crowd to the happy feeling and he will remember that touch or sound instead of freezing on stage. This way he can perform better.
With the help of this technique if we do the right crafting ,we can influence a lot of people. Just like in the advertisements, if we see a chocolate commercial, we are reminded of love and happy feelings, anchoring works in the similar way.
According to this NLP technique, one transfers the sub modalities or elements from one particular state or context to another. It is particularly useful when you want to make a resource state available somewhere else.
This is like a fantasy trip to re-code something. When the unconscious codes a person’s mind differently , power of this unconscious mind is aligned to make that true. If you look to change something like your cravings, anxieties, fear etc. its best to point towards the same goal.
For example – Someone wants to lose weight and give up on craving for sweet , so one best way is to train their unconscious mind into the zone where they are in proper zero figure. They would then imagine how it would feel like to fit into an ‘xs’ size and that would motivate them to do better.
Ask them how they know inside their mind that they are fat. Then make them relate to something that they are not so for example how do they know they are not a successful basketball player. How do they know they’re not?
3) Contrast and compare the sub modalities of the two representations. Change the “I am fat ” representation sub modalities to the sub modalities of the thing they are not. In other words, move the “I am a smoker” picture to where the picture of them being a pro basketball player is. Make the colors and amount of movement like the pro basketball player’s images. Make the sounds have the same qualities. Once the obesity identity sub modalities are the same as the thing they aren’t—the thought of them being fat should be much less real. Then lock that representation there. Some people do it by having the client imagine the representation sealing there like Tupperware (make the sound). Others put bolts in the images and sounds to keep them there.
Mapping can be done through use of various sub modality: it can be visual – which will include color, size, shape , brightness and dullness, Auditory – sound , direction of the sound, pitch, volume, Kinesthetic- Temperature, texture, weight whether its heavy and light.
A presupposition is an assumption. Assumptions can be powerful allies or enemies. If you assume, for instance that there is no progress without hard work you will see different opportunities than some who assumes that some change is easy. The NLP technique called ‘presups’ is designed to orient us towards effectively helping people in the most elegant manner. Our words would make a difference in our thinking pattern. Anyone can create a life they desire – if this interests you, one will want to know how it works .As we know presupposition are assumption for example if we say “the boy walked to the store” so what are the details we will presuppose? We may imagine the area , like as I stay in Mumbai city , I imagined the boy going to one of the shops near my area, I assumed because the boy is walking he is healthy, happy and as the word says ‘boy’ he is small and probably going to buy a chocolate.
Now all this details are imagined by us and it’s part of our interpretation. So the words we used are what we are going to presuppose, lot of sentences we use are presuppositon which may not help us achieve our goal. Some of the NLP technique presuppositon are:
The Mind/Body is a Single, Cybernetic System
People Work Perfectly & Always Make the Best Choice Available To Them At The Time
Choice Is Better Than No Choice
We Create Our Experience
Change Makes Change
Failure vs. Feedback
Rapport is a deep process that’s mostly out of consciousness. How do we know? Because people that don’t have the ability to respond consciously still respond to rapport techniques. That’s one reason rapport techniques are practically unstoppable.
This is an easy set of NLP techniques, but they have the power to help you get along with virtually anyone. There are lots of ways to build rapport with another person. Some of the quickest and effective ways come from NLP techniques. These techniques involve subtly mirroring another person’s body language, tone of voice, and words.
People like people who are like themselves. By subtly mirroring the other person, the brain fires off “mirror neurons,” pleasure sensors in the brain, which make people feel a sense of liking for anyone mirroring them.
The technique is simple: Stand or sit the way the other person is sitting. Tilt your head the same way. Smile when they smile. Mirror their facial expression. Cross your legs when they cross theirs. Mirror their voice, etc.
Use the client’s model of the world and what’s important to them to reach them , this is a deep largely unconscious process besides words many elements like music, hug, smell etc can be used to build this rapport
The key to creating an unconscious rapport is subtlety. If you are too overt, the other person may notice consciously, which would most likely break rapport. So keep your mirroring natural and calm.
Neuro Linguistic Programming can help you achieve a life where you are in charge with great ease by using some of the simple NLP techniques in your day to day life. These different NLP techniques can be used at different occasion for many different purposes. These NLP techniques can be used by itself or in combination with each other to create fresh and effective methods.
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